Dilapidated core part 2

I’ve been here looking back at how my walk with God has been and I can say He has been patient with me.

I had become fond of giving God suggestions concerning what He should do with my life. God as the creator ,only He knows what to do best with our lives . He cannot improvise us for something else , because when He looked at us after His creation business He said ,”it’s good.” How then do we expect Him to follow our suggestions on how He should do life with us ?

I woke up with an ache in my heart, so deep and sharp , I felt tired. I heard my heart ask ,”when are you getting done with this excavation ?” For a long time , I had just been home ,chores , reading , writing and so on. Now He had answered my prayer on something I had trusted Him for ,and getting on routine was a task for me , following someone’s schedule was not my thing , I worked best with my own schedule. You see ,old habits die hard ,my friend just mentioned that recently in our conversation.

God was excavating old habits that were unpleasant to Him out of my heart. This wasn’t an easy time for me , I became exasperated, I wished He was fast , to get done with my heart ,but we are daily being perfected into the full nature of Christ, and since everything emanates from the heart , it means this was going to be a lifetime thing. I only had two options , to stay positive and thankful in the process or step out and face consequences later.

If I wasn’t ready to deal with something, I moved it to a folder in my heart that read ,”ignored”. We all ,well let me not generalize and fix you in something maybe you don’t do. So , I, Hilda, never liked facing hard situations, things that would cause me pain , no , I had dealt with enough painfull incidences to deal with more ,so I’d ignore they don’t exist and move them to their folder, and life went on.

God was here , dealing with the garbage in my core , some of it had gone stale and the smell of it strangled part of fresh stuff I was learning spiritually.

And maybe for this reason , I should turn the title to ,” A CORE IN A DILAPITATING PROCESS”

Love ,Hilda 😊



“Excavate my core Father”, I still laugh at this prayer I made to God one late evening, after a reflecting on my walk with God.

For a moment, I thought I must be “sick ” to ask God to probe my core , I look at quaries and I know what I was asking God to do was something close to that but far beyond that.

I must have been daring 😂 , no , let’s say spiritually hyped 😂 . Please people, know what you are asking God to do in your life.

A week into my answered prayer , I felt I should tell God ,that was just a thought 😂 . Weeeeeehhh, please be careful with every thought in your mind , they slip into God’s ears and He acts accordingly 😁.

I almost lost a divine friendship, and at this point I wanted to tell God ,” You are well equipped, you can use another tool to excavate , just not this friendship, 😂 , giving God suggestions 😂 ,do you people do this ? Or I’m the only “imperfect Christian ” ,encourage a sister by saying yes 😂.

I’ll be back with part two of dilapidated core.

Until then , be ready for what you ask God for. 😅

My prayer.

Dear God ,I desire not outward beauty . But I ask that you give me smiling lips that speak life ,sparkling eyes full of your life and a singing heart , for with a singing heart my eyes will sparkle and my lips will smile.
I desire an ornament of a meek and quiet spirit.
In Jesus name, amen.